Before you proceed, please read this disclaimer in its entirety. If you choose to ignore it, that’s on you—but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

1. I Am Not a Professional (Of Any Kind, Really)

• I am not a lawyer, so nothing I say should be taken as legal advice. If you need legal counsel, please consult someone who passed the bar exam and doesn’t just watch Law & Order reruns.
• I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional of any kind. If you take health advice from a random blog, you may end up drinking turmeric lattes for a broken leg.
• I am not a financial advisor, accountant, or investment guru. If you lose money because of something I wrote, I will not reimburse you in Bitcoin, Dogecoin, or Monopoly money.
• I am not a licensed professional in any field, unless you count “making questionable life choices” as a profession.

2. I Possess No Supernatural or Secret Powers

• I am not a wizard, sorcerer, or mystic. I cannot cast spells, predict the future, or summon eldritch beings (though I do have a suspiciously well-behaved cat).
• I am not clairvoyant, psychic, or in tune with the universe in any meaningful way. My “visions” are usually just caffeine-induced daydreams.
• I am not part of a secret society (that I’m aware of). If the Illuminati is reading this, please don’t revoke my nonexistent membership.

3. This Blog is Pure Chaos

• The opinions expressed here are my own, unless they’re borrowed from a meme, in which case credit goes to the internet at large.
• My thoughts may change over time, because unlike a blockchain, my brain is not immutable.
• I may contradict myself, because consistency is overrated and humans are messy.
• I reserve the right to edit, delete, or disavow any post at any time for any reason—including but not limited to: realizing I was wrong, being embarrassed, or just feeling whimsical.

4. You Are Responsible for Your Own Choices

• Reading this blog is a voluntary activity, like skydiving or eating gas station sushi. Proceed at your own risk.
• If you take any advice from this blog and it backfires spectacularly, that’s on you. I’m just a person typing words into the void.
• If you sue me over something you read here, I will be very disappointed (and also very broke, so good luck collecting damages).

5. Miscellaneous Disclaimers for Maximum Coverage

• Not sponsored (unless explicitly stated, in which case, hey, thanks for the free stuff!).
• No affiliate links (unless there are, in which case, buy that thing so I can afford more coffee).
• No guarantees that this blog is free of typos, bad jokes, or accidental existential crises.
• No promises that I will respond to comments, emails, or carrier pigeons.
• No warranties expressed or implied. This blog is provided “as is,” like a thrift store painting of a sad clown.

Final Warning

If you’ve read this far, congratulations! You now understand that this blog is for entertainment purposes only, and I am in no way responsible for your life choices. If you proceed, do so with the understanding that you alone bear the consequences—whether that’s enlightenment, confusion, or an irrational urge to reorganize your sock drawer.

Now go forth, dear reader, and may the odds be ever in your favor (but seriously, don’t blame me if they’re not).

— Just Some Human With a Keyboard