The Inner Monologue

Ah, the Baby Boomers—the generation that once burned draft cards, dropped acid, and preached peace, love, and understanding. Fast-forward a few decades, and suddenly they’re clutching their pearls over kneeling football players, screaming about “socialism” if their Medicare gets questioned, and voting for a guy who probably couldn’t spell “Woodstock” if you spotted him the W-O-O-D.

So what happened? How did the generation that once declared “never trust anyone over 30” become the same people who now post Minion memes about millennials killing the napkin industry? Let’s break it down, because honestly, we deserve answers.

Step 1: “Stick It to the Man” (Unless the Man is Giving Them Tax Cuts)

Boomers spent the ’60s and ’70s raging against the establishment—Vietnam, Nixon, The System™. But somewhere between their third divorce and their fifth McMansion, they decided The System™ wasn’t so bad… as long as it worked in their favor. Reaganomics? Hell yeah! Trickle-down economics? More like trickle-down into my portfolio, baby.

Funny how “question authority” turned into “respect the badge (unless it’s arresting a Jan. 6 rioter).”

Step 2: “Make Love, Not War” → “Make Memes, Not Sense”

The same folks who once sang along to “Imagine” now lose their minds if Starbucks cups aren’t Christmassy enough. The anti-war protesters of the ’60s became the “support the troops (but only if they don’t have PTSD or need VA benefits)” crowd. And don’t even get me started on how “free love” somehow morphed into clutching pearls over two men holding hands in a Cheesecake Factory.

Step 3: “Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out” → “Turn On Fox News, Tune Out Reality, Drop Into QAnon Forums”

The Boomers who once distrusted the government now swallow every conspiracy theory fed to them by a billionaire-owned media empire. JFK Jr. is coming back? Sure! Vaccines have microchips? Why not! The same people who warned us about “the military-industrial complex” now think a guy who dodged the draft with “bone spurs” is the Second Coming of Patton.

Step 4: “Never Trust Anyone Over 30” → “Never Trust Anyone Under 60 (Especially If They Use Avocados)”

The ultimate irony? Boomers became the very thing they swore to destroy. They mocked their parents for being out of touch, yet now they’re the ones writing angry Nextdoor posts about kids on their lawns and blaming millennials for… checks notes… not buying enough diamonds and mayonnaise?

Conclusion: The Greatest Flip-Flop in History

So here we are. The generation that once preached revolution now clutches their Social Security checks like holy relics while calling younger generations “entitled.” The same people who fought for civil rights now vote for politicians who want to whitewash history books.

Maybe it was the lead paint. Maybe it was one too many Grateful Dead solos. Or maybe—just maybe—they were never the free-thinking rebels they pretended to be. Maybe they just wanted to be the ones in charge all along.

And now, as they rage against “woke culture” from their Florida retirement villas, we’re left wondering: Was it all just a phase, or did they just get really, really bad at aging?

Either way, thanks for the economy, guys. Really cool legacy. 🌸→🗑️