The Inner Monologue

Let’s cut to the chase: YouTube is way too much work, and I am way too lazy.

Think about it. To make a single video, you have to:

• Write a script (or worse, improvise like some kind of chaotic gremlin).
• Record yourself talking (and then realize your audio sounds like you’re speaking through a tin can in a wind tunnel).
• Edit out all the awkward pauses, throat clears, and accidental burps (because yes, those happen).
• Add jump cuts so you don’t look like a malfunctioning robot.
• Spend hours rendering, uploading, and agonizing over the algorithm’s cruel whims.

Or—and hear me out—I could just write my thoughts in five minutes and let your brain do the work of imagining my voice, my weird hand gestures, and my questionable wardrobe choices.

Readers are better anyway. You don’t complain about my “audio quality.” You don’t yell “TOO LONG, DIDN’T WATCH” in the comments. You just absorb the words at your own pace, like a civilized person.

So no, I won’t be joining the ranks of YouTubers who spend days obsessing over thumbnails, retention rates, and whether they should say “Hey guys!” or “What’s up, squad?” at the start of every video.

I write. You read. We all win.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a nap to take.