The Inner Monologue

Let’s be real for a second: fossil fuels are the Blockbuster Video of the energy sector—clinging to relevance while the world happily streams its future from cheaper, better alternatives. And yet, some folks still think that if we just deregulate the hell out of coal, oil, and gas, they’ll magically become profitable again. Spoiler alert: they won’t.

1. The Market Has Spoken (And It’s Laughing at Fossil Fuels)

Renewables have become the energy equivalent of that one overachieving friend who somehow works out, eats pizza, and still looks great. Wind and solar? No fuel costs. Hydro? Reliable and cheap. Meanwhile, fossil fuels are out here sweating over extraction costs, price volatility, and the fact that their best sales pitch is “Well, at least we’re not as bad as coal!”

And let’s talk about batteries—because, surprise, they’re not just for your Tesla anymore. Energy storage is eating fossil fuels’ lunch by making renewables actually dispatchable, which was basically the last remaining argument for keeping gas plants around.

2. Fossil Fuels Are Their Own Worst Enemy

• Coal: The energy equivalent of a flip phone—clunky, outdated, and only still around because someone’s grandpa insists it’s fine. Even without pesky EPA rules, it’s getting crushed by high labor costs and the fact that nobody wants it.
• Oil: Still king in transportation… for now. But EVs are coming faster than an oil exec’s midlife crisis, and once petrochemical demand peaks (thanks, plastic bans and recycling trends), what’s left? A volatile, capital-intensive industry praying for another 2008-style price spike.
• Natural Gas: The “I’m not like the other fossils” of the group. It’s hanging on, but even gas is getting squeezed as heat pumps, cheaper renewables, and hydrogen start whispering sweet nothings to utilities.

3. Wall Street Has Checked Out

Investors aren’t stupid. They see the writing on the wall—stranded assets, energy transitions, and the fact that ESG funds (love ‘em or hate ‘em) are steering capital away from fossil fuels. You can deregulate all you want, but you can’t force banks to pour money into a sunset industry.

4. The World Is Moving On (With or Without the U.S.)

Sure, emerging markets still need fossil fuels—for now. But as renewables get cheaper and global efficiency improves, even those demand pockets will shrink. Meanwhile, developed countries are ditching fossils without needing heavy-handed regulations, because economics wins every time.

The Bottom Line

Fossil fuels are in decline because the free market decided they’re a bad bet. No amount of deregulation will change the fact that renewables are cheaper, cleaner, and more scalable. The only real question left is whether the industry will go quietly or drag us all through another decade of denial and subsidy begging.

So, by all means, strip away environmental regulations. It won’t save coal. It won’t save oil. And soon enough, it won’t even save gas. The future’s coming—whether fossils like it or not.

(P.S. Want a chart? Sure, here’s one: 📉→💀. You’re welcome.)