The Inner Monologue

Remember the good old days when workers lived in company housing, shopped at the company store, and died in the company mines? Well, grab your bootstraps, folks—because Corporate America is bringing it all back, but this time with apps!

1. “Flexible” Work Contracts (Read: Indentured Servitude With a 401k)

Why let basic human rights get in the way of MAXIMUM SHAREHOLDER VALUE? Under this bold new vision, your job will include:

• Mandatory 10-year contracts (with penalties if you quit—colonial America called, it wants its labor model back!)
• AI surveillance to optimize your bathroom breaks (Amazon already does it—why not every job?)
• “Voluntary” overtime (voluntary as in “you volunteer or you get fired”)

The upside? You’ll be so productive, you won’t even have time to realize you’re in a dystopia!

2. Paycheck? More Like Paycheckmate

Forget minimum wage—why pay workers actual money when you can pay them in company credit?

• Housing? Taken straight from your wages.
• Food? Only at the corporate cafeteria (prices marked up 300%).
• Healthcare? Lol, good one.

It’s just like the Pullman Strike days, but with worse Wi-Fi!

3. The Government Will Love It (Because “Jobs”)

Politicians will absolutely endorse this, because:

• “Rebuilding American industry!” (Translation: “We ran out of third-world countries to exploit.”)
• “Strengthening the workforce!” (By which they mean “strengthening the legal loopholes that let us treat workers like livestock.”)

Bonus: If you complain, they’ll call you anti-capitalist and replace you with a robot.

4. The Company Town Experience™ (It’s Not a Cult, It’s a Career!)

Why live in a free society when you can live in a corporate-sponsored panopticon?

• Live in company housing! (And pay 80% of your salary for the privilege.)
• Enjoy company-approved entertainment! (Netflix is replaced with mandatory corporate training videos.)
• Make lifelong friends! (Because you’re literally not allowed to leave.)

Think Foxconn dorms, but with more “We’re a family!” propaganda.

5. The Best Part? You’ll Be Grateful For It!

Sure, you’ll have no savings, no freedom, and no future—but hey:
✅ The stock market will boom! (For your boss.)
✅ GDP will rise! (While your quality of life plummets.)
✅ You’ll finally understand why your grandpa hated unions!

Final Thought: Is This Inevitable?

Let’s be real—we’re already halfway there. Between gig economy exploitation, AI surveillance, and politicians who think “labor rights” is a dirty phrase, the only thing missing is the company scrip.

So get ready, wage slaves! Your new corporate overlords are waiting. And don’t forget to smile—your productivity metrics are being recorded.

💀 Welcome to Late-Stage Capitalism. 💀

🎤 Mic drop. [Sponsored by Amazon Prime™—now with same-day delivery on worker tears!]

💬 Comments section: “But what about the free market—” SHUT UP, NERD. Would you survive in Company Town 2.0? Or would you mysteriously disappear after asking for a raise? Sound off below! 👇