The Inner Monologue

Oh, look—another “Top 10 [Insert Obvious Thing Here]” video. And yet, here you are, clicking on it like a brainwashed lab rat desperate for the next dopamine pellet. Why? Because humans are obsessed with lists. Not because they’re useful, but because our tiny monkey brains see a numbered ranking and go, “Oooh, ORDER! ME LIKE!”

Let’s break down the most thrilling categories of lists that people lose their collective minds over, complete with eye-roll-worthy commentary.

1. “Top 10 Movies/TV Shows” (Because You Definitely Need More Backlog Guilt)

Oh wow, yet another “Top 10 Movies You MUST Watch Before You Die” list. Because clearly, you were just waiting for some rando on YouTube to validate your taste in cinema. Bonus points if the list includes The Shawshank Redemption for the 8,000th time—because no one has ever heard of that hidden gem, right?

2. “10 SCARIEST Places on Earth!!1!” (Spoiler: They’re All Abandoned Asylums)

Ah yes, the classic “Abandoned Mental Hospital at 3 AM CHALLENGE (GONE WRONG)” genre. Because nothing says “I respect history” like trespassing in a decaying building for clout. And don’t worry—every single one of these videos will swear that the location is “cursed,” despite zero evidence beyond a flickering flashlight.

3. “5 Side Hustles to Make $10K/Month!” (Spoiler: They’re All MLMs or Lies)

Ah, the “Just sell digital printables, bro!” crowd. Because if it were that easy, wouldn’t everyone be sipping margaritas in Bali instead of watching this video at 2 AM while eating cold pizza? But sure, tell me more about how dropshipping is the secret to financial freedom.

4. “10 Celebrities Who Aged TERRIBLY” (Because Schadenfreude Is a Hell of a Drug)

Nothing brings people together like gawking at a celebrity who dared to age naturally. “Oh my God, look at how [insert 90s heartthrob] looks now! They’re basically a cryptid!” Meanwhile, the comment section is just a war zone of “They’re still beautiful!” vs. “They look like a melted candle.”

5. “Weirdest Laws in [Random Country]” (Because Everyone Loves Fake Outrage)

“In Switzerland, it’s illegal to flush a toilet after 10 PM!” Wow. Riveting. Life-changing. Except—wait—half of these are either outdated, misrepresented, or just straight-up urban legends. But who cares? The internet loves pretending to be shocked by laws no one enforces.

6. “Most Dangerous Animals!” (Featuring the Same 5 Creatures Every Time)

Congrats, you’ve won the “How to Pad a 10-Minute Video” award by including:
✅ The box jellyfish (shocking)
✅ The hippo (groundbreaking)
✅ The mosquito (wow, so original)
And yet, somehow, humans still won’t stop trying to pet wild animals.

7. “Best/Worst Video Games Ever” (Cue the Fanboy Wars)

Nothing unites gamers like a good old “Your Favorite Game Sucks” list. “Why is [beloved classic] ranked below [obscure indie title]?! This list is TRASH!” Meanwhile, the creator is just laughing their way to the bank with all that sweet, sweet engagement.

8. “Ancient Mysteries That Baffle Scientists!” (90% of Which Have Been Solved)

“No one knows how the pyramids were built!” Except, you know… historians. Archaeologists. Literally anyone who’s read a book published after 1950. But sure, let’s keep pretending like aliens did it because critical thinking is hard.

9. “Life Hacks That Will Change Your Life!” (Spoiler: They Won’t)

“Use a binder clip to organize your cables!” Wow. Revolutionary. My life is forever altered. Please, tell me more about how peeling a banana from the bottom is the key to happiness.

10. “Most Embarrassing Fails!” (Because Humanity’s Decline Is Hilarious)

Nothing bonds us as a species like watching some poor soul eat pavement in HD slow-mo. Bonus points if the video title includes “YOU WON’T BELIEVE #3!” (Spoiler: You will believe it. It’s just another guy falling off a skateboard.)

Conclusion: Why Do We Love Lists? (Because We’re Basic)

Let’s be real—lists are the fast food of content. They require zero brainpower, promise easy answers, and give us the illusion of control in a chaotic world. Plus, they’re great for procrastinating, because why actually do something when you can watch “20 Things You’re Doing Wrong” instead?

So go ahead, click on “Top 10 Lists That Will Blow Your Mind!” We both know you will. And when YouTube inevitably recommends “Top 5 Regrets of the Dying,” just remember—you could’ve been learning a skill, but instead, you’re here. Watching lists.

Pathetic. 😘