The Inner Monologue

Let’s be honest—there is nothing funnier than listening to someone who doesn’t speak your language try to speak it anyway. Not with a few memorized phrases, not with a half-decent accent, but with full, unhinged commitment to absolute nonsense. Just pure, unfiltered gibberish, delivered with the confidence of a diplomat at the UN.

And before you clutch your pearls and gasp, “How dare they mock my beautiful language?”—relax. They’re not mocking. They’re honoring you. They’ve listened to your language like a sommelier sniffing a fine wine, like a mechanic diagnosing an engine’s purr. They’ve dissected the rhythm, the cadence, the musicality of your words, and then—with zero vocabulary to back it up—they’ve replicated the vibe. That’s artistry.

Think about it: They could’ve just shrugged and said, “I dunno, sounds like blah blah blah to me.” But no. They took the time to construct an entire fake dialect on the spot, purely for the joy of participation. That’s respect. That’s effort. That’s comedy gold.

So next time you hear someone babbling in what they think is your language, don’t scoff. Applaud. They’ve paid more attention to the sound of your words than most people ever will. And if you’re still offended? Well, maybe you’re just mad they did a better impression of your language than you could ever do of theirs.

Now go forth. Find a language you don’t know. Open your mouth. And perform. The world deserves your linguistic chaos.