The Inner Monologue

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer, unbridled chaos of the American relationship with money. If poor financial decisions were an art form, we’d be the Louvre. The stats are in, and folks—they’re brutal.

1. Debt: The Only Growth Industry We’re Good At

Personal debt in this country grows by a hilarious 2–4% every year. That’s right—while wages stagnate and inflation laughs in our faces, we’re out here treating credit limits like personal challenges.

“Can I finance this?” has replaced “Can I afford this?” as the national motto. Student loans? Swiped. Credit cards? Maxed. Car payments? Stretching into the afterlife. We’re not just keeping up with the Joneses—we’re burying ourselves in debt to impress them.

2. 10% of Our Paychecks? Gone. Poof.

Nearly 10% of disposable income now goes straight to debt payments. That’s money we’re not saving, investing, or using to, y’know, live better. Instead, we’re basically just paying a monthly subscription fee for the privilege of being broke.

But hey, who needs an emergency fund when you’ve got four streaming services and a financed iPhone, right?

3. The Delusion Is Strong

The best part? None of this stops us from spending. We see a paycheck and immediately think, “How fast can I turn this into someone else’s money?” Retail therapy isn’t just a habit—it’s a lifestyle.

• $50k salary? Perfect time for a $40k truck.
• $1,000 in savings? Sounds like a down payment on a vacation you’ll pay off until 2027.
• Credit score below 600? “But I still get pre-approved!”

It’s like watching a toddler try to eat a watermelon whole—impressive in its ambition, but doomed from the start.

Conclusion: We’re Doomed (But at Least We’re Stylishly Doomed)

At this point, the only thing growing faster than our debt is our collective denial. We’re not bad with money—we’re historically bad. Legendarily bad. “Write-a-self-help-book-about-it” bad.

So next time you’re stressing over your balance sheet, just remember: You’re not alone. Millions of us are right there with you, drowning in payments but still somehow finding room in the budget for DoorDash.

Final Thought: If common sense were a currency, we’d all be bankrupt twice over. 💸🔥

(But hey, at least we look good doing it.)