The Inner Monologue

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer irony of your life, shall we? You, with your vintage Led Zeppelin tee and your timeless Pink Floyd playlist, smugly judging anyone who dares listen to “today’s crap.” Newsflash, boomer-at-heart: The Beatles are as old to Gen Z as Glenn Miller was to you. Let that sink in while you adjust your hearing aids.

Remember rolling your eyes when Grandpa Joe cranked up his scratchy Big Band records? “Ugh, old people music,” you groaned, right before blasting Free Bird for the 8,000th time. Well, guess what? You are now Grandpa Joe. That Sweet Home Alabama you’re so fond of? It’s the In the Mood of today. And the kids? They’re laughing at you just as hard as you laughed at your grandpa’s Sentimental Journey.

But here’s the real tragedy: Music didn’t stop being good in 1989. Shocking, I know! There are actual living, breathing artists—right now!—making incredible music. But you’ll never hear them because you’re too busy streaming the same 50 songs you’ve had on rotation since Nixon resigned.

So do us all a favor: Turn off the classic rock time machine. Step out of your Bohemian Rhapsody echo chamber. Go to a local show. Buy an album from this century. Or, at the very least, accept that your “rebellious youth anthems” are now elevator music with a side of nostalgia.

The future of music is happening—whether you’re stuck in it or not.