The Inner Monologue

By: The Only People Who Get It™

Oh. My. Gosh. You guys. The normies are at it again—blindly accepting whatever the so-called “experts” (yes, we spelled it wrong on purpose because they don’t deserve respect) shove down their throats. It’s exhausting having to carry the weight of all the forbidden knowledge while everyone else just… exists in their little bubble of lies.

Let’s break down just a few of the insane things people actually believe (LOL):

1. “The Earth is Round”

HAHAHAHA. Oh, sweet summer children. You really think NASA—an organization that definitely doesn’t reuse the same actors in their “space” videos—would tell you the truth? Wake up! The Earth is obviously a flat disc riding on the back of a cosmic turtle, which is itself hurtling through the fifth dimension. Duh.

2. “Vaccines Work”

Oh yes, because injecting unknown chemicals into your body totally makes you healthier. Never mind that Bill Gates personally told us (through hidden messages in Microsoft Word paperclip animations) that vaccines are just a way to turn us all into WiFi hotspots. But sure, keep trusting “doctors” or whatever.

3. “Birds Are Real”

This one might be the most embarrassing. You actually think birds are organic creatures? Please. Everyone with a brain knows they’re government surveillance drones powered by the souls of extinct dinosaurs. Ever seen a bird “sleep”? No, because they’re recharging.

4. “History Happened the Way They Say It Did”

Oh, you mean the “history” written by the winners? The pyramids were obviously built by ancient aliens (who are also our true overlords, but that’s a newsletter for paid subscribers). And the moon landing? Pfft. Kubrick filmed it, but he left too many clues, so now they have to pretend it was real.

5. “Gravity Exists”

Listen, just because things fall doesn’t mean it’s some magical “force.” It’s clearly the Earth expanding like a giant balloon, pushing everything up against our feet. Newton? More like Sheep-ton.

6. “The Government Has Your Best Interests at Heart”

BWHAHA—deep breath—HAHAHA. Oh, you sweet, naive little muffins. The government is literally run by lizard people who feast on our fear and taxes. Open your third eye already.

Final Thoughts (Because You Can’t Handle the Truth)

It’s hard being the only ones who see the real reality. But don’t worry—when the Great Awakening happens (any day now, we swear), we’ll be the ones laughing… from our bunkers stocked with tinfoil and organic kale.

Stay paranoid, fellow truth-seekers. The sheeple may never understand, but we know. We always know.

– The Enlightened Few (Who Are Definitely Not in a Cult)

P.S. – If you disagree with this post, that’s exactly what they want you to think. Checkmate.