The Inner Monologue

Ah, the sweet illusion of progress. You pat yourself on the back for scoring a “great deal,” saving time, or making a profit—only to realize later that you’ve been bamboozled by the universe’s cruel accounting system. Congratulations! You just fell for the oldest trick in the book: gross vs. net.

The Gross Deception

Life loves to dangle shiny gross gains in front of us while quietly deducting hidden costs.

• “I saved so much money buying in bulk!” → …And now you’re eating stale cereal for six months and storing a pallet of toilet paper in your living room. Net loss: dignity and square footage.
• “I made a profit selling my old car!” → After repairs, detailing, and the 47 hours you spent arguing with lowballers on Facebook Marketplace. Net profit: approximately three dollars and a newfound hatred for humanity.
• “I multitasked and got so much done!” → By doing five things badly instead of one thing well. Net productivity: negative.

Net Time Savings (Spoiler: They Don’t Exist)

We’re obsessed with “saving time,” as if we’re all secretly hoarding it in a vault like Scrooge McDuck. But let’s be real:

• “I’ll just DoorDash dinner instead of cooking!” → Saves 30 minutes. Then you spend 15 minutes staring at the app, 10 minutes arguing over who pays the delivery fee, and another 20 regretting your life choices when your $40 burrito arrives cold. Net time saved: -15 minutes.
• “I’ll take the shortcut!” → Google Maps leads you into a labyrinth of one-way streets, and now you’re trapped behind a garbage truck. Net arrival time: later than if you’d just taken the damn highway.

The Big Picture (Or: How to Stop Fooling Yourself)

The universe runs on net math, not gross wishful thinking. Before you celebrate a “win,” ask:

1. What did this actually cost? (Time, sanity, future suffering?)
2. Did I just create more work for Future Me? (Spoiler: Yes. Future You hates Present You.)
3. Is this a Pyrrhic victory? (Did you “win” the battle but lose the war, your dignity, or your will to live?)

Final Thought: Stop Chasing Gross Gains

Life isn’t about the flashy, immediate “wins.” It’s about the net result—the actual, tangible benefit after all the hidden fees, emotional tolls, and unintended consequences.

So next time you think you’ve outsmarted the system, remember: The system is always net-negative. Proceed accordingly.

(Net satisfaction from reading this post: Hopefully positive. If not, demand a refund.)