The Inner Monologue

Insults are supposed to hurt. That’s the whole point. You craft the perfect word, drop it with precision, and watch the target squirm. But what happens when the target is too dim to even get the insult?

Answer: you get modern politics.

Picture this: a politician gets called a buffoon. Simple enough. Everyone with a third-grade vocabulary knows that means “clownish fool.” But instead of being offended, this genius thunders back, “How dare you call me a baboon!”

…Excuse me? Baboon? Nobody said baboon. Though, honestly, now that you mention it, that might be an upgrade. At least baboons are strong, social, and capable of figuring out basic problems. You, my friend, are stuck confusing the insult aimed at you with a zoo exhibit.

And that’s the tragedy of trying to insult the willfully stupid: it doesn’t land. They don’t understand the sting, so they just proudly strut around proving the insult correct in real time. It’s like calling someone illiterate and having them respond with, “No I’m not, I can spell ‘cat’ with a K!” Congratulations—you didn’t dodge the jab; you confirmed it.

The best part? They think they’ve won. They’ll go on TV, chest puffed out, bragging that they “owned” their critics—while the rest of us are doubled over, not from defeat but from the comedy of watching someone accidentally wear the insult like a badge of honor.

Here’s the cold, snarky truth: if you don’t know what “buffoon” means, you are one. And worse, you’re not even clever enough to be properly roasted. You’re the insult-proof politician—because your brain is Teflon. Nothing sticks when you don’t know the meaning of words.

So the next time you see a leader smirking smugly after “deflecting” an insult, remember: they weren’t being tough. They were just too dumb to notice they’d been verbally set on fire.

And frankly? That’s the funniest part of all.