The Inner Monologue

There’s a cruel irony in modern life: the more people convince themselves they “deserve better,” the worse their lives tend to become. They’re not victims of the system, or of fate, or of some conspiracy. They’re victims of their own inflated standards—beliefs so detached from reality that they’ve built entire lifestyles, relationships, and even political identities on self-deception.

The Cult of Deserving

It begins innocently enough. A teenager is told, “Don’t settle.” A college student is told, “You’re special.” A mid-career professional reads another motivational post about how “you deserve to live the life of your dreams.” And suddenly, mediocrity becomes unacceptable—but not in the sense that people work harder or improve themselves. Instead, they adjust their expectations upward while leaving their effort where it was.

The result? A generation of people who think they deserve to live above their means, to date beyond their league, and to be happy despite acting like complete jerks. They confuse potential with entitlement—and when the world doesn’t rearrange itself around their self-image, they call it unfair.

Broke by Lifestyle

Financially, inflated standards are devastating. People will bankrupt themselves maintaining the illusion that they’re “doing well.” A leased luxury car in the driveway. A designer handbag that cost half a paycheck. The $6 coffee, the $2,000 vacation financed on credit, the house they can’t really afford in the “right” neighborhood—all to sustain a fantasy of success.

They don’t want to be middle-class; they want to look upper-middle-class. They don’t want to save and invest; they want to display and impress. And because they believe that “they deserve nice things,” they see self-restraint as oppression rather than discipline.

When the bills come due, the problem isn’t their habits—it’s capitalism, inflation, the system. But the truth is simpler: they were broke long before they ran out of money. They were broke in spirit—spending for validation instead of security.

Alone by Delusion

The same psychology wrecks relationships. People rate themselves a five and insist they deserve a ten. They mistake attraction for negotiation. They confuse the right to seek love with a guarantee to obtain it.

Dating apps only made it worse—turning human connection into an ego lottery. The average man swipes right on anyone attractive, then complains that women are shallow. The average woman filters out 95% of men and insists the remaining 5% are “trash.” Both sides hold standards shaped by Instagram fantasies, not real life.

What’s missing isn’t options—it’s humility. People want perfect partners without being perfect themselves. They want beauty without fitness, loyalty without sacrifice, and passion without patience. No one wants to deserve love anymore; they just want to be entitled to it.

Miserable by Design

Then there’s happiness—the most inflated standard of all. Somewhere along the way, people decided that life should always feel good. Any discomfort is injustice. Any sadness is pathology.

They chase joy like it’s a consumer product: if I buy this, travel there, date them, I’ll finally be happy. But happiness, like wealth or love, doesn’t come from deserving—it comes from doing. You don’t earn joy by being good; you earn it by being grateful.

The irony is that people who lower their expectations tend to rise higher. Those who accept imperfection adapt faster, appreciate more, and suffer less. Realism isn’t pessimism—it’s the foundation of contentment.

The Real Standard

The antidote to this cultural narcissism is humility—the rarest form of intelligence. It’s recognizing that you aren’t owed anything, that you’re not above compromise, that your circumstances reflect your choices more than your luck.

You don’t deserve to live above your means—you deserve the peace that comes from living within them.
You don’t deserve a perfect partner—you deserve the one who chooses to stay when things get imperfect.
You don’t deserve constant happiness—you deserve the satisfaction of knowing you’ve earned the good moments when they come.

The world doesn’t need more people with high standards; it needs more people with accurate ones.

Because once you stop pretending you’re owed more than you’ve earned, you stop being broke, single, and miserable—and start being free.