The Inner Monologue

Let’s play a game. Open your favorite streaming service—Netflix, Hulu, Max, whatever digital landfill you prefer—and start scrolling. How many of those movies do you actually want to watch? Be honest. Three? Four? Maybe five if you’re feeling charitable? And of those, how many are rewatches of the same three films you’ve already seen a dozen times because nothing new is good?

This isn’t some “movies these days” gripe. Oh no. I’ve done the research (by which I mean I’ve suffered through enough film history to know). The ratio of garbage to gold has been consistent since the dawn of cinema. Silent era? Mostly trash. Golden Age of Hollywood? Mostly schlock. New Hollywood? More misses than hits. Modern blockbusters? Don’t get me started.

So what’s the deal? Are my standards just that high? Am I cursed with a brain so refined that only the rarest alchemy of storytelling, performance, and direction can satisfy me? Or—and here’s the scary thought—is everyone else just okay with consuming slop?

Because let’s be real: If 99.9% of movies are bad, how does the industry keep making money? The answer, I suspect, is that most people don’t care. They’ll happily munch popcorn through the most derivative, pandering, CGI-slathered nonsense as long as it kills two hours. Studios know this. They’ve run the numbers. The margins on mediocrity must be fantastic because they keep churning it out like a factory farm for content.

And it’s not just movies. Music? Mostly forgettable. Books? Mostly unread. Yet somehow, against all logic, the machine keeps churning. Why? Because every now and then, a Parasite, a Godfather, a Mad Max: Fury Road comes along and reminds us that yes, art can be transcendent. And that fleeting high is enough to keep us digging through the trash for another hit.

So here I am, a jaded cinephile, trapped in an endless scroll of algorithmic sludge, waiting for the next glimmer of genius. Maybe it’ll come next year. Maybe never. Either way, I’ll be here, sighing loudly at trailers for the 14th Fast & Furious movie, wondering why I even bother.

But hey—at least you get it. Right?

…Right?