The Inner Monologue

Let’s talk about playbooks. You know, those things that everyone seems to follow when they’re about to do something terrible, but nobody seems to read when they could, you know, stop them.

Monopolies? Oh yeah, there’s a playbook for that. Step one: Dominate a market. Step two: Crush competitors. Step three: Jack up prices while laughing maniacally. And yet, somehow, every time a company morphs into an all-consuming corporate hydra, everyone acts shocked. “How did this happen?” they cry. Maybe because you didn’t read the How to Spot and Stop a Monopoly Before It Eats Your Economy playbook? Just a thought.

Dictators? Oh, they love a good playbook. Step one: Undermine institutions. Step two: Scapegoat minorities. Step three: Seize absolute power while wearing a suspiciously fancy uniform. And yet, every time some power-hungry lunatic starts checking off these boxes, half the population shrugs and says, “Eh, probably fine.” Did you not get the Preventing Tyrants for Dummies edition? Was Amazon out of stock?

Sports teams study their opponents’ playbooks like their lives depend on it. Meanwhile, society treats the rise of monopolies, dictators, and other disasters like they’re unpredictable acts of God. “Wow, who could have seen this coming?” Literally anyone who read the playbook.

So here’s the real question: Are we just lazy, stupid, or gullible? Because the playbooks exist. The warnings are there. The patterns repeat, over and over, like a bad movie sequel nobody asked for. And yet, we keep letting the same villains win because—what? We couldn’t be bothered to skim the CliffsNotes?

Maybe it’s time to start a Counter-Playbook Book Club. First rule: Actually read the damn thing. Second rule: Stop acting surprised when the villain follows the script.

Or, you know, we could just keep winging it and hope the next despot is really bad at taking hints. That’s worked great so far.