The Inner Monologue

Let’s talk about the great American paradox: people will drop tens of thousands of dollars on a house or a car, then proceed to treat them like disposable razors. It’s like buying a golden retriever and then forgetting to feed it—except in this case, the retriever is your mortgage and it’s actively losing value while you binge Netflix.

Cars: Because Who Needs Oil Changes, Right?

Ah, the modern car owner. They’ll spend hours researching the perfect SUV, haggle over the price like a Wall Street trader, and then completely ignore the maintenance schedule like it’s an ex’s text.

• “Oil changes are a scam!” – Says the person whose engine now sounds like a coffee grinder full of rocks.
• “Tire rotations? Nah, I like living on the edge.” – Until one blows out on the highway.
• “Check engine light? That’s just a suggestion.” – Famous last words before a $3,000 repair bill.

The funniest part? People will panic-spend $500 on a phone upgrade but act like a $50 oil change is an outrageous luxury. Congrats, your Prius now has the lifespan of a mayfly.

Homes: The Art of Ignoring Problems Until They’re Expensive

Homeownership: where you sign a 30-year mortgage and then proceed to treat your house like a college rental.

• “Gutters? They clean themselves!” – Said no one who has ever dealt with a flooded basement.
• “That leak is probably fine.” – Until your ceiling turns into an indoor water feature.
• “HVAC maintenance? I’ll just wait until it dies in July.” – Enjoy sweating in your own personal sauna.

The best part? People will drop $5,000 on a vacation but lose their minds when the water heater needs replacing. “But that’s unexpected!” Yeah, just like death and taxes—except somehow more shocking.

Why Are We Like This?

Let’s diagnose the issue:

1. “I don’t know how!” – Cool, but Google exists. You learned how to use TikTok; you can learn how to change an air filter.
2. “It’s too expensive!” – Bro, you spend $8 a day on Starbucks. A $100 service call won’t kill you.
3. “I’ll do it later!” – Famous last words before your car explodes on the freeway.

The Lesson Here

Your car and your house aren’t magic self-sustaining entities. They’re like pets—ignore them, and they will punish you. But hey, if you enjoy financial panic and avoidable disasters, by all means, keep pretending maintenance is optional.

Otherwise, maybe open your wallet before your engine does it for you.

—

What’s your worst maintenance horror story? (We already know it involves a mechanic laughing at you.) Drop it in the comments. 👇