The Inner Monologue

Let’s talk about the line. You know, that ever-shifting, totally subjective boundary between acceptable and unacceptable behavior that we all pretend is set in stone. Everyone’s got one. Some people’s line is a high bar—like a velvet rope at an exclusive club where even thinking about cutting in line gets you blacklisted. Others? Their line is a chalk drawing on the sidewalk after a rainstorm—barely there and easily ignored.

Know Your Line (But Don’t Stare At It Too Long)

You’ve got a line. Congrats. You probably cross it sometimes—whoops—but at least you have one. That’s what separates you from the real monsters (or so you tell yourself). The key is to know where your line is, so you can strategically tiptoe over it when convenient and then act shocked when someone else does the same.

Everyone Else’s Line: A Handy Guide to Judgement

Now, the real fun begins when you start assessing other people’s lines. Because let’s be honest—morality is just a fun little game where we decide who’s worse than us.

• Their Line is WAY Past Yours? Bad news. These are the people who make you go, “Wait, you think that’s okay??” Maybe they’re the type who “forgot” to return your favorite sweater, or maybe they’re the kind who “forgot” that embezzlement is technically a crime. Either way, if you’ve got too many of these folks around, check your own line—because you might be sliding.
• Their Line is WAY Before Yours? Ugh, goody-goodies. The kind who clutch their pearls when you jaywalk or use a mild swear word in casual conversation. Too many of these in your life, and you start to wonder if you’re the problem. (Spoiler: You’re not. They’re just boring.)

The Only Line That Actually Matters

Here’s the kicker: The real benchmark isn’t your line, or even the lines of the people around you. It’s the line of the people you admire. Because deep down, we all calibrate our morals based on who we want to be—or at least, who we want to pretend to be.

So ask yourself: Where’s the line for the people I respect? If your answer is “Uh… I don’t actually respect anyone,” then congrats—you’re either a nihilist or a middle manager. Either way, good luck with that.

Final Thought: Lines Are Fake, But Consequences Are Real

At the end of the day, the line is just a story we tell ourselves to sleep at night. The real question isn’t “Where’s the line?”—it’s “How far am I willing to go, and can I still look myself in the mirror after?”

(And if the answer is “No, but I avoid mirrors now,” then maybe it’s time to redraw that line.)

—Your Friendly Neighborhood Moral Compass (Slightly Broken, But Still Pointing Somewhere)