The Inner Monologue

Let’s get one thing straight: the dream of a product being fully “Made in America”—with every bolt, wire, and microscopic widget sourced, mined, and manufactured here—is about as realistic as a unicorn running a Ford assembly line. It’s not patriotism. It’s delusion.

1. America Doesn’t Have the Stuff

Want an all-American smartphone? Too bad. The U.S. doesn’t have the cobalt mines, rare earth elements, or lithium needed for batteries. Sure, we’ve got some rocks, but not the right ones. You can chant “Drill, baby, drill” all you want—good luck conjuring a domestic rare earth mine overnight.

Consumer Scenario: Your iPhone now costs $5,000, comes with a “Proudly 12% American” sticker, and lasts 20 minutes on a charge because we had to substitute lithium with freedom.

2. Global Supply Chains Are Here to Stay

That toaster on your counter? It’s a U.N. summit in miniature: semiconductors from Taiwan, glass from China, chemicals from Germany, and packaging made from recycled “USA! USA!” bumper stickers. Replicating that here would take decades, trillions, and an army of engineers who aren’t busy optimizing crypto scams.

Consumer Scenario: Your $20 Walmart toaster now costs $600, takes 3 weeks to arrive (hand-delivered by a bald eagle), and has a “Made in America (Assembled in Mexico)” disclaimer in size-2 font.

3. Americans Don’t Want $4,000 Microwaves

To manufacture everything here, we’d either need to slash wages to 1950s levels (who needs labor laws?) or charge you $300 for a coffee maker. Spoiler: You’ll just buy the Chinese one on Amazon anyway.

Consumer Scenario: Your “PatriotWave” microwave requires a down payment, a 6-month wait, and a heartfelt apology for ever outsourcing. It also only cooks freedom fries.

4. Prosperity Means Outsourcing

Here’s the secret: outsourcing is what rich countries do. We keep the high-margin stuff—design, branding, shareholder payouts—and let someone else handle the cheap, greasy work. It’s why Apple is a trillion-dollar company while Foxconn workers jump off roofs.

Consumer Scenario: *Your “All-American” laptop runs on hopes, dreams, and a 1998 Pentium processor because Silicon Valley outsourced *thinking* to India.*

5. You Don’t Want This Dream to Come True

Forcing everything to be “Made in America” would wreck the economy, ignite trade wars, and turn your Amazon cart into a Sotheby’s auction catalog. Manufacturing everything here isn’t patriotic—it’s economic self-harm.

Consumer Scenario: Your kid’s $10 plastic toy now costs $200, arrives in 8 months, and comes with a 45-page manifesto on economic sovereignty. They’ll still prefer the Temu version.

Conclusion: Nice Slogan. Terrible Plan.

The next time a politician yells “Bring it all back!”, ask them how much they’re willing to pay for a screwdriver. Spoiler: Their answer will involve your wallet, not theirs.

Final Consumer Scenario: *You proudly buy a “100% American” car. It breaks down in 3 miles because the *steel* was American, but the know-how was outsourced to YouTube tutorials.*