The Inner Monologue

Announcement of the Protecting Our Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, and Wives Act (POMDSWA) In a bold, compassionate, and deeply reassuring step toward restoring traditional safety, public order, and the comforting presence of vaguely related men, the government today proudly announces the passage of the Protecting Our Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, and Wives Act. This landmark legislation recognizes…

Summer is nature’s way of reminding us that the human body was not designed for extreme weather. But not all heat is created equal. There are two diabolical humidity zones where sweat either betrays you completely or abandons you like a bad date. 1. High Humidity: The Sweatocalypse (Where Perspiration Pools in Your Eyeballs) Welcome…

Let’s talk about something controversial—something society has been lying to us about for years. Bathing. That’s right. I’m here to make the case for not doing it, or at least doing it way less. Before you recoil in horror and start spraying me with Febreze, hear me out. I’m not saying we should all turn…

Every American city has a place you’re warned about. A neighborhood spoken of in shorthand. A few square miles that carry a disproportionate share of fear, police lights, overdoses, sirens, and grief. In Albuquerque, it’s the International District—long branded the “War Zone.” In Los Angeles, Skid Row. In San Francisco, the Tenderloin. In Philadelphia, Kensington.…

Let’s talk about Meshtastic, the open-source, LoRa-powered, peer-to-peer messaging system that promises to keep you connected when civilization collapses—or, you know, when you’re at a music festival and T-Mobile’s network crumbles under the weight of 50,000 people Instagramming their overpriced tacos. It’s encrypted. It works without cell towers. It’s basically Batman’s walkie-talkie if Batman were…

Let’s talk about cleanliness. Some people shower once a day. Some (gasp) every other day. And then there’s me—the overachiever, the hygiene enthusiast, the person who bathes three times a day and has the water bill to prove it. Now, before you call me a maniac or ask if I’m secretly a dolphin, let me…

Comedy has always been underestimated. We label it “light,” “escapist,” or “silly,” while saving our reverence for serious dramas that grapple with tragedy, history, or politics. But dig beneath the pratfalls and punchlines, and you’ll often find the sharpest observations about who we are, how we live, and what we fear. The best comedies are…

2025 Assessment Most Likely:✅ Multimodal AI (already emerging with GPT-4o, Gemini, etc.)✅ AI Office Assistants (Microsoft Copilot, Google Gemini Workspace integration)✅ Code Companions (GitHub Copilot, ChatGPT for coding is already mainstream)✅ RAG Systems Expand (Already improving with tools like Perplexity, retrieval-based LLMs)✅ Image/Video Generation for Consumers (MidJourney, Sora, Pika Labs are progressing rapidly) Possible but…

Let’s be real: your phone, your GPS, and every app you use think you’re a drooling toddler who can’t handle big words. And honestly? They’re not entirely wrong. We’ve reached peak digital condescension, where every instruction is delivered in the soothing tones of a kindergarten teacher explaining why glue isn’t a snack. But what if,…

Oh, humanity. You adorable, melodramatic mess. Here we are again, clutching our pearls over the latest technological boogeyman—AI. “It’s taking our jobs! It’s making weird art! It can’t even count fingers right!” Newsflash: This is how every revolution starts. Remember when everything was made by hand? Of course you don’t, because you’ve never churned your…