The Inner Monologue

Let’s get one thing straight: the dream of a product being fully “Made in America”—with every bolt, wire, and microscopic widget sourced, mined, and manufactured here—is about as realistic as a unicorn running a Ford assembly line. It’s not patriotism. It’s delusion. 1. America Doesn’t Have the Stuff Want an all-American smartphone? Too bad. The…

Oh, dear reader, you’ve stumbled upon my little secret. You’ve read my posts, nodded along (or angrily fist-shaken at your screen), and walked away thinking, Ah yes, this is who they are—this is what they believe. Spoiler alert: You have no idea. I’ve been playing you. Or, more accurately, playing with you. Because half the…

Ah, the Bible—the most quoted, misquoted, and creatively paraphrased book in history. Nothing brings people together like confidently declaring a phrase is “biblical”… only to find out it’s actually from Benjamin Franklin, a medieval painter, or just straight-up Sunday School telephone game gone wrong. So let’s set the record straight. Here are 10 sayings people…

So, you’ve decided to “invest” in an old car. Maybe you watched a BaT auction while tipsy, or your uncle swore his barn-find Corvette would “pay for your kid’s college.” Cute. But here’s the cold, hard truth: Buying a vintage car as an investment isn’t like picking up a used Camry off Craigslist. Unless you…

The phrase “Thought Police” originates with George Orwell’s 1984, where state enforcers punished not only actions but even ideas contrary to official orthodoxy. In today’s United States, the concept resonates as a metaphor for the pressures—both governmental and societal—that are beginning to police what people can say, teach, or even think. Around September 2025, several…

Oh, darling homeowner. You’ve binge-watched HGTV, pinned a thousand inspo boards, and somehow still ended up with a living room that looks like a garage sale threw up in it. Fear not—your secret shame is safe with me. But since we’re here, let’s talk about the 10 things professional decorators know that you clearly don’t.…

I’ll keep it simple and explicit about assumptions so you can understand them. Baseline assumptions (so we’re on the same page) Headline results (my best central estimate) Where the pain shows up (first 3 years) Approximate price bumps relative to “normal”: A typical median family budget sees ~$400–$750 more per month for 24–36 months, mostly…

Oh, sweet, optimistic homeowner. You’ve watched every HGTV renovation show, you’ve pinned dozens of Pinterest boards, and you totally know what you’re doing. Right? Wrong. Your contractor? Yeah, they’re silently judging your “open-concept, shiplap-everything, can-we-do-this-for-$5,000?” dreams. Because while you’re busy picking out backsplash tiles, they’re the ones keeping your house from collapsing. Here are 10…

Oh no! The birth rate is declining! The elderly will outnumber the young! Society will crumble under the weight of retirement homes and unwashed dentures! Except—lol. Turns out, the much-hyped “demographic time bomb” is less Mad Max and more “Okay, we’ll adjust.” Because guess what? Humans are weirdly good at not dying horribly when given…

Let’s be real: Scientists don’t just think differently than normal humans—they might as well be from another planet. While the rest of us operate on vibes, gut feelings, and whatever Facebook told us last Tuesday, scientists insist on evidence and logic like some kind of nerdy Vulcans. Here’s how their bizarre brains work—and why it’s…