The Inner Monologue

Let’s settle this once and for all: America is not the freest place on Earth. Sorry, flag-wavers, but we’re also not living in some Orwellian nightmare (yet). No, the United States exists in that cozy, lukewarm middle ground where you’re free to do most things—as long as you don’t mind the government occasionally peeking over…

The Dangerous Misconception About Interest Rates Some people hear “30% interest over 5 years” and think: “If I borrow $1,000, I’ll just pay back $1,300. That’s only 30% extra—no big deal!” And somewhere, a payday lender just wiped away a tear of joy because that’s exactly what they want you to believe. Let’s fix that…

Let’s talk about the line. You know, that ever-shifting, totally subjective boundary between acceptable and unacceptable behavior that we all pretend is set in stone. Everyone’s got one. Some people’s line is a high bar—like a velvet rope at an exclusive club where even thinking about cutting in line gets you blacklisted. Others? Their line…

The Soviet Union had Gosplan, a central committee that decided how many shoes, tractors, and lightbulbs 200 million people needed. The results were legendary: factories produced record tons of steel while store shelves sat empty. Central planning may have looked good on paper, but in reality it produced waste, shortages, and a whole lot of…

Ah, professional awards—those shiny plaques, elegant glass obelisks, and embossed certificates that scream, “Look at me, I’m officially excellent!” But let’s be real: most of these accolades are about as meaningful as a “World’s Best Boss” mug you bought for yourself at Staples. Step 1: Find an Award That Sounds Legit (But Isn’t) Want to…

Let’s be real—actual science is hard. It involves things like “data,” “peer review,” and “not making stuff up.” But why bother with all that when you can just slap a fancy “-ology” on your wildest hunches and call it research? Here’s your field guide to the finest fake sciences—because nothing screams “I’m an intellectual” like…

When I was younger—much younger, back when my joints didn’t sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies every time I stood up—nobody listened to me. And let’s be clear: I was right. About everything. Mostly. But because I hadn’t yet accumulated enough birthdays to qualify as a “sage elder,” my insights were dismissed as the…

By Karen McSnarkerson Oh, joy! The small-government crowd has blessed us with yet another brilliant idea: Let states opt out of federal programs—because clearly, the best way to govern a nation is to turn it into a patchwork of mismatched policies where your basic rights depend on which side of a state line you’re standing…

Oh, the horror. The absolute tragedy of today’s youth, lounging around in their avocado toast-filled dens, refusing to contribute to society. Except—wait. Have you looked around lately? Let’s take a quick tour of reality, shall we? 1. The Young Farmers Breaking Their Backs While the rest of us complain about the Wi-Fi being slow, there…

There is a dangerous illusion that tempts many developing nations: the idea that progress can be achieved by imitation. The notion that if one simply mimics the political systems, economic structures, or cultural patterns of a superpower, success will follow. Yet history, geography, and human ingenuity suggest otherwise. Every great nation’s rise is rooted not…