The Inner Monologue

Thinking Out Loud

January 1 Is a Suggestion, Not a Beginning

Every year, billions of people participate in a collective fiction: that January 1 represents a clean break in time. Fireworks explode, resolutions are declared, and language briefly pretends that something has ended and something else has begun. But beneath the noise, the world keeps moving exactly as it was the day before. Budgets don’t reset.…
The First Place That Will Rename Itself for Trump Won’t Be New York—It Will Be a Message

There is a certain inevitability to the question. Not if, but where. At some point, some jurisdiction in the United States will attempt something more radical than a highway sign or a commemorative plaque. A town council vote. A county resolution. A ballot initiative. A place that decides it does not merely want to honor…
“The Cloud Is Just Someone Else’s Computer” – And Other Hilariously Bad Tech Takes

Oh, you’ve figured it out, haven’t you? The big secret of cloud computing. All those fancy terms—”elastic scaling,” “multi-region redundancy,” “serverless architecture”—are just smoke and mirrors. Because, as any truly enlightened tech bro will tell you: “The cloud is just someone else’s computer.” Wow. Deep. Profound. Revolutionary. Let’s all pack up and go home, folks.…
Behind on Reviews, Ahead on Excuses

There is a strange arithmetic creeping into the machinery of government. It isn’t the arithmetic of budgets, deficits, or GDP—it’s the arithmetic of oversight. And the math doesn’t add up. Across agencies, periodic reviews—whether for safety, compliance, or financial accountability—are falling further and further behind. Once-regular inspections now pile up like unopened mail, while agencies…
Your Tax Dollars at Work: Propping Up Dying Fossil Fuels Like It’s 1923

Ah, fossil fuels—the industries that just won’t die, no matter how many times economics, physics, and common sense try to euthanize them. But don’t worry, Uncle Sam has a plan: subsidies forever! Because nothing says “free market” like shoveling taxpayer cash at coal, oil, and gas to keep them on life support while the rest…
Retirement Planning Based on “Average” Lifespan? Enjoy Eating Cat Food at 95

Oh, you’re using average lifespan numbers to plan your retirement? How adorable. Nothing says “I love gambling with my future” like betting your golden years on a statistic that literally means half of people die before that age. But sure, go ahead—bank on keeling over at 85 like some kind of actuarial fairy tale. Meanwhile,…
Why Clinging to Dying Industries Is Totally a Winning Strategy (Said No One Ever)

Oh, bless your heart. You’re still holding out hope for coal mines, rusting factories, and industries that peaked when people thought “Y2K” was the biggest threat to humanity? Adorable. If your economic policy can be summed up as “But this is how we’ve always done it!”, then congratulations—you’re not just stuck in the past, you’re…
The Day America Declared Puberty a Legal Qualification

Lowering the age of majority in the United States to 14 would not be a reform.It would be a confession. A confession that we have finally given up pretending adulthood is about judgment, experience, or responsibility—and have instead decided it is merely about paperwork and vibes. Supporters would call it empowerment. Freedom. Trust in youth.Opponents…
The Silence Is the Message: Why Marijuana Isn’t on TV or Radio

If marijuana dispensaries were illegal everywhere, their absence from television and radio would make sense.If marijuana were fringe, unpopular, or unprofitable, it would also make sense. But marijuana is legal in most U.S. states, supported by voters across party lines, generates tens of billions of dollars in annual revenue, and is used openly by tens…
The Best Case for Legalizing Drug Use: How America Ends the Drug War Without Losing Its Mind

America’s drug policy has failed in a very specific, very measurable way. It has not failed because people still use drugs. That was never a realistic benchmark. It has failed because the policy we chose—criminalization, scarcity, punishment—maximized death, disorder, and black-market power while minimizing treatment, stability, and truth. The question is no longer whether the…