The Inner Monologue

Oh, look at you—40-something, still dreaming of retirement while your 401(k) looks like a sad, deflated balloon. Congrats! You’ve mastered the art of financial mediocrity. But guess what? There’s still hope. Not much hope, but enough to keep you from eating cat food in your golden years. Step 1: Stop Being a Starving Artist and…

The Expanded Book of Time Now let’s take our 4.54-billion-page Book of Earth and place it in an even grander library—the 13.8-billion-year history of the universe. Suddenly, Earth’s entire history becomes just Volume 3 in a much larger set. The Universal Library If we kept our 1-page = 1-year scale: When “Ancient” Means Something Different…

Let’s talk about the great American paradox, folks. Our landfills are bursting at the seams with cheap, imported garbage—Yugoslavian pool floats that deflate after one use, Bangladeshi jeans bedazzled with the tears of underpaid workers, and enough plastic junk from overseas to build a second Great Wall (but, you know, flimsier). Meanwhile, our own factories…

Ah, hobbies—those beautiful, soul-nourishing pastimes we pick up to enrich our lives, only to abandon them six weeks later when the crushing weight of mediocrity becomes too much to bear. But not you. Oh no. You are dedicated. You are committed. You are—let’s be honest—probably just lying to yourself. Step 1: The Obsession Phase Every…

Oh, America. Land of the free, home of the brave, and—apparently—the place where locals would rather fly to Cancún for an all-inclusive margarita coma than bother exploring their own backyard. Let’s talk about the glorious irony of U.S. national parks, shall we? These stunning, world-renowned landscapes—Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon—are practically overrun with foreign tourists…

I solemnly pledge my unwavering allegiance to the President of the United States of America, and to the sacred republic for which he stands—one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. I vow steadfast loyalty to the President, placing my trust in his wisdom and supporting his policies with unshaken resolve, above all personal opinion. I swear to honor…

In 2014, I made a bold prediction inspired by The Graduate: Now, in 2025, let’s revisit these claims—how well did they hold up? Prediction #1: “One Word: Graphene” – The Rise of a Wonder Material ✅ Partially Accurate, But Overly Optimistic on Timeline Graphene did emerge as a revolutionary material, with extraordinary properties like high…

There’s something deeply unsettling about our justice system. No, not the part where innocent people get wrongfully convicted—that’s just a tragic side effect. I’m talking about the real injustice: the fact that horrible, obviously guilty criminals get legal representation at all. Why are we wasting time with trials, evidence, and “due process” when we all…

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” This powerful statement is widely attributed to the renowned American anthropologist Margaret Mead (1901–1978). Yet, despite its popularity, there’s no concrete evidence that she ever said or wrote it. The Origins of the…