The Inner Monologue

The Curse of Being Right All the Damn Time

Let me tell you, it’s exhausting being this infallible. While the rest of the world stumbles around like toddlers in the dark, I’m over here, burdened with the tragic gift of always knowing exactly how everything will play out. Oh, you think that hot new startup is going to change the world? Cute. I already…
“These 10 Songs Will Outlive Your Grandkids (And Honestly, They’re Better Than Anything Released Since)”

Let’s be honest—music peaked a long time ago. While today’s “artists” are busy mumbling over TikTok beats, these 10 immortal anthems have been carrying human civilization on their backs for centuries. They’re the sonic equivalent of the Pyramids, but people still care about them. 10. “Auld Lang Syne” Why It’s Eternal: The only song drunk…
Why You Don’t Need a Journal (And Your Future Self Thanks You)

Ah, journals. Those beautiful, empty books you buy with the solemn vow that this time you’ll faithfully document your ~journey~, only to abandon them after three entries that read: “Rain today. Ate a sad sandwich. Existential dread—will explore tomorrow.” Let’s be honest: The fantasy of journaling is far more appealing than the reality. You imagine…
Mac vs. PC vs. Chrome vs. Linux: A Breakdown of Why Everyone’s Wrong

Ah, the eternal debate: Which tech ecosystem is best? Spoiler: They all suck in their own special way. But since we love pointless arguments, let’s break down why each platform is simultaneously the greatest and the worst, depending on who you ask. Mac: The Overpriced Cult Pros: Cons: Best for: People who enjoy paying extra…
The Great Lie of “Best Places to Live” (And Why You’re Probably Stuck Where You Are)

Oh, joy—another definitive list of the best places to live, work, or retire! Because what the world really needed was another YouTuber in a Patagonia vest breathlessly declaring that this random town in Nebraska is the next Austin (but with more corn and fewer hipsters). Or your Uncle Bob, who insists that Florida is paradise…
“Why Bother Saving? Because You’re Probably Going to Live Forever (And That’s the Problem)”

Oh, the sweet, sweet lie of averages. You’ve heard it before: “The average life expectancy is 72!” Cue the violins, the existential dread, and the reckless spending sprees because, hey, what’s the point? You’ll be dead before the credit card bill comes due, right? Wrong. That number is a dirty, rotten trick—a statistical mirage. It’s…
“Congratulations! Wherever You Go, They’ll Kill You There.”

Ah, travel—the great human pastime of exploring new places, meeting interesting people, and being told by everyone back home that you’re absolutely going to die doing it. You: “I’m heading to Paris!”Them: “Oh my God, the pickpockets will rob you blind and leave you for dead in the Seine.” You: “Actually, just got back from…
Why the Only Good Hate is Hate for the Haters (And Yes, That Includes You, Karen)

Let’s get one thing straight: hating is usually a garbage-tier hobby. Hate the rain? Cool, but it’s still gonna water the plants. Hate cilantro? Fine, more for the rest of us. Hate pineapple on pizza? Wrong, but at least that’s a victimless crime. But then there’s the real haters—the ones who hate people. Not because…
Why Are Teeth and Eyeballs Considered Luxury Items in American Healthcare?

Ah, the American healthcare system—where your liver, kidneys, and even your spleen are covered, but God forbid you need a filling or a pair of glasses. Those are clearly just vanity projects, like getting a boob job or a solid gold nose ring. Let’s break this down, shall we? Your medical insurance will happily pay…
🔥 The Future of American Capitalism: Company Towns 2.0 (Now With More Wage Slavery!) 🔥

Remember the good old days when workers lived in company housing, shopped at the company store, and died in the company mines? Well, grab your bootstraps, folks—because Corporate America is bringing it all back, but this time with apps! 1. “Flexible” Work Contracts (Read: Indentured Servitude With a 401k) Why let basic human rights get…