A confidential public service announcement for anyone experiencing an unexpected allergic reaction to MAGA:
You can vote Democratic.
Just this once. As a treat.
You don’t have to register a Prius, develop an opinion about oat milk, or invite a drag queen to Thanksgiving. There is no mandatory tote bag.
You can keep the enormous TRUMP WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING hat. Wear it to the polls. The hat cannot see your ballot. It has no supervisory authority.
If the creeping authoritarianism is getting a little too enthusiastic for your taste, you are permitted to reconsider the arrangement. Even if you already bought the flags. Even if you were extremely confident on Facebook.
Especially then.
You don’t have to announce a political awakening. Nobody needs a twelve-paragraph departure statement from the movement. You can simply walk into the voting booth and vote the Democratic ticket.
Your group chat does not receive a notification.
Your brother-in-law will not get a fraud alert.
The bald eagle on your T-shirt will maintain its usual facial expression.
And afterward, if someone asks how you voted, you can say, “Secret ballot,” with the solemn dignity of a person who has recently discovered a constitutional principle they find personally convenient.
Then go home. Fire up the grill. Complain about something being woke.
Your hat never has to know.
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